**Note to Reader: Read in a slight British Accent**
Friends.
Nice word. Positive word.
Webster defines it in the following ways; 1:one attached to another by affection or esteem; 2:one that favors or promotes something.

Let me start by saying I really do like the word ‘friend’. I use it daily when I address people whom I know. “Hello friend”, “How are you friend?” etc.

It always struck me as strangely humorous and in some ways creepy though the way that Facebook and Myspace call everybody ‘friend’.
Make Me Your Friend.
Add To Your Friend List.
69 Friend Requests.

Now, whether they are on your personal or professional sites, you really have to step back here and wonder; How many of these people really are your friends? Do they fall under Webster’s definition #1? Well, how can we tell?

So, in order to better know, love and appreciate the demographic of those that are “my friends” I have decided to do a Marketing Research Project and go and visit each and every individual person signed up to both my personal and business Facebook and Myspace accounts, go to their homes knock on their doors and say, “Hello! According to my Facebook and Myspace we, you and I, are friends. I would there for enjoy coming into your home, sitting on your couch for afternoon tea and see how much we really have in common.”

Now should the visit go smashingly, I will of course maintain them as “friends” perhaps even elevating them to a “favorites” category. However, if the visit should not go brilliantly and I find their response to my unprompted visit to be somewhat course and abrupt, then I shall remove them as my friend. Of course if they are from my business social media account and they have a lot of followers, I may have to reconsider.

Again, this is Marketing research so pie charts, graphs and Power Point presentations must and will display this data to make it all so very official looking. Also, I may need to stay in touch with you, my FohBoh contacts, in case I need a couch to crash on for the night or hit you up for a hot meal at your restaurants while traveling for this project…All in the name of research for our businesses of course.

Then there of course are “Followers” as in “follow me on Twitter” or “your followers”. A rather pretentious and egotistical expression really.
“My followers”.
If you’re a restaurant using Twitter it makes the hospitality biz sound a bit like a cult.
“Come in This Week For All U Can Eat Wings & Our Secret Recipe Lemon-Aid!”
Offer Good Only Until The Mother Ship Arrives or Our Ascension into Godhood.

Now, if you should rather go with Webster’s definition #2, just ignore all the gibberish above as is #2 does pertain more to what you (we) are trying to accomplish through Facebook, Twitter and Myspace, or as I like to call it, MyTwitFace.

So, my friends, have a wonderful day, we have all worked hard so enjoy it with the ones you truly call your friends and be safe.